Welcome everyone! 🔥💞🔥 

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If you know of people who you think would like to join us, please direct them to this page www.drkatetomas.com/hex so they can sign up! 

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Prioritise kindness,

good intentions and solidarity

 

Assume kindness,

good intentions, and solidarity

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Hopefully the below is unnecessary for everyone here, but as this is a public group,

here are some housekeeping rules to be mindful of:

 

• This is a group of fat people, Black people, people of colour, disabled people, queers, trans folks, sex workers, and neurodiverse people. Avoid replicating colonial oppression, or we will be sad and then angry.

 

• Avoid digital blackface by not using gifs of Black ppl if you're not Black (this needs it's own point as I see it all the time and 💀) 

 

• This isn't a space to question the ethics of hex work or baneful magic. If you're here, you understand why it's an integral part of magickal /political practice. If you're unclear on this, check out the videos on the above page. 

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• Not everyone is in a position where it is safe to be publicly part of this group action. If you think you recognise someone famous in this container, no you did not 😎. 

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• Avoid assuming someone's gender, and avoid assuming others will know yours. Misgendering is one of the easiest ways to accidentally harm someone, and micro-aggressions around gender are some of the most common ways we can accidentally exclude people from community. One of the best ways we can avoid doing this is by avoiding gendered terms such as ‘girls’ ‘ladies’ ‘guys’, ‘sisters’, etc. Try to use collective nouns like ‘y’all’, ‘friends’, ‘pals’. 

 

• Get into the habit of asking people what their pronouns are if they don’t offer them up, and of telling people your pronouns. Cis people especially can make the mistake of assuming people will assume their pronouns- and they probably will if we are cis - but an important way to leverage priveledge is to not let that happen, by making the point of telling people your pronouns. It can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first, so imagine what its like for someone not cis to ‘correct’ when someone misgenders.

 

• Use OOPS and OUCH when communicating: The use of Oops and Ouch is an easy way to communicate when an unintended harm has been done in communication. When you realise that you might have communicated in a way that could cause harm to another person, you can say ‘Oops. I’m sorry I think I might have….’ When someone unintentionally causes harm to you in communication, you can use ‘Ouch. My pronouns are they/them’ or, ‘Ouch, I don’t think you meant to, but your comment implies that fat people are less-than.’ 

 

• When someone uses Ouch to flag a microaggression, you can reply with ‘Oops’ signalling that you made a mistake and any harm caused was unintentional. It is also important to learn and change behaviour when this happens, so an apology and then an expression of your intention is good, but changed behaviour is best.

 

• Recognise that we will ALL fuck up. Essential to Oops and Ouch working is the assumption that everyone in this space is kind and would not intend to cause harm. 

 

• Engagement in the online community is a bonus, and not essential or even necessary to your success in working through the program and the material.

 

• That being said, community is a powerful tool of anticapitalism and anticolonialism. Many of us enter this space with blocks and fears around being seen and trauma around existing within social groups. Showing up to be seen in community, and experiencing community support and care is radically healing and is inherently anticapitalist and anticolonialist. 

 

• It is totally ok to drop in and out of the communal space. There is no expectation that you show up at all, or that you comment as much as you post, or post as much as you comment. All engagement that follows the above guidelines of kindness and good intention is a blessing.

 

• The more you engage the more you feel part of the online community, but it is totally ok to take your time.

 

• If you feel triggered or activated by something someone has posted that is OK. It doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong - either with you or the other person. If you want to work through any triggers, it's often a good idea to reach out to me (I am in the Admins list) before approaching the person whose post activated something for you. 

 

• If you ever feel the need for any support, assistance, help or reassurance please, please reach out. This community is a strong, powerful and kind group of people who all want the same thing - to grow and soften, and to support each other in growth and softening. 

 

This community is yours. Take up as much or little space as you desire, and allow that desire to ebb and flow without judgement.

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Please respect the sacred confidentiality of this space and group chat and do not repeat anything that's shared in here. 

 

Community is a powerful tool of anticapitalism and anticolonialism.

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I LOVE THAT YOU'RE HERE

AND I WANT THIS TO BE A SAFE SPACE FOR Y'ALL 🥰💞🔥